Top 10 Reasons to Work at a Middle School

10. Better excuses than you could ever think up by yourself. (They might come in handy, you never know.)

9. No need to join AAA. A chocolate bar is enough payment to get you into any locked car.

8. Need a contractor? Every male teacher has 3 jobs, what do you need done?

7. Where else do you get paid for hormone patrol (dance supervision.)

6. The world's largest ongoing study on puberty.

5. When is the last time you saw a really good food fight?

4. A 5' 7" girl trying to hold hands with 4'9" boy.

3. The highest concentration of Valium in any public building in the USA. If you forget your own just use the salt lick in the faculty room.

2. Where else can you relive being 13 every day of your life. (see #3)

1. Valet parking. Just give your keys to the baggy-pants boy, the one with the chains looping from pocket to pocket. He'll be happy to assist you.